Chapter One

Being out in the open like this made Teva acutely aware of how trapped she was. You made your own bed, and I emphasise the words, ‘your own bed,’ Pavel had offered as a parting shot when their divorce was finalised. But she had not made this particular bed, and as such she did not know how to get out of it. Ahead of her, Ian strolled with the children at their clumsy pace down the river’s bank, hand in hand with each of them, into the sinking sun. It was so bloody picture perfect, Teva thought she should probably take a photo. But the water around her ankles was freezing, and instead of taking her phone out, she put her face in her hands and exhaled heavily. For the first time in her life, Teva felt like a victim of circumstance.

‘Mommy!’ Teva peered through her fingers: Olivia was racing across the sand towards her. ‘Daddy says we’re gonna camp here.’

The child ran full pelt into her thigh, and Teva had to step backwards to keep from falling over. Olivia giggled and wrapped herself in the loose linen of her mother’s dress. Teva rubbed Olivia’s shoulders and looked down the beach at Ian. His arms were out and his head cocked, pantomiming, ‘what do you think?’

‘Okay,’ she shouted.

‘Just here,’ Ian yelled back, pointing behind him.

Teva disentangled Olivia, and together they made their way to where he and Ari were waiting on a patch of hard, gravelly earth. ‘How far have we come?’

Ian looked at the pedometer on his phone. ‘Two-and-a-half miles.’

‘How far, Daddy?’ Ari asked.

‘A long way, buddy,’ Ian said. ‘You did great.’

‘You’ve done so well, Ari,’ Teva said, squatting to give her four-year-old son a cuddle. You sound so American, she mouthed at Ian.

He blushed. ‘I’ll put up the tents,’ he said.

Teva stood up. ‘Livvy, will you help Daddy do the tents?’ The six-year-old nodded agreeably. ‘Thank you. Ari and I will get the wood.’

‘We can’t set a fire, Tay.’ Ian pointed at a sign nailed to a tree on the edge of the clearing: NO OPEN FIRES ALLOWED IN THIS AREA. ‘Raj broke the rules when he was up here and got a hefty fine and a stern warning. We’ll have to cook with the gas.’

The sign looked official, black text on white tin, which in theory meant safety; they were still within the confines of benevolent authority. Instead, its presence sent a sliver of fear through her; they could not escape. It was like they were in one of Ian’s mindlessly violent video games, running blind into the darkness. Now is the time to tell him – it can’t wait until we get home, she thought.

‘Fine,’ Teva said. ‘I’ll let you get the tents up.’

She took Ari by the hand and together they walked the short distance to the forest that surrounded them. The shade of the redwoods confirmed for Teva that without a fire they’d be miserable. The summer temperature would vanish with the daylight. They stood still, looking into the hazy gloom of the forest. Birds chirped, and something scurried in the undergrowth beneath them. The air smelled wonderful. Then Teva saw movement through the trees, and the ache of latent panic returned.

‘You know, I don’t think we’re that far from the road,’ Teva said when she and Ari got back to their camp.

‘Really?’ Ian frowned and looked at his phone. ‘I’ve got no service.’ He walked a little way up the clearing, stood for a moment peering at the screen, then came back. ‘You’re right. The river tracks the road here. So much for getting lost.’

‘You mean we could’ve just driven here?’

Ian smiled perfunctorily at her. At least the tents were up.

‘Where’s Livvy?’ she asked.

‘Arranging her sleeping bag,’ Ian grinned, nodding at the tent.

‘I’ll make the food,’ Teva said, setting up the little propane burner. ‘It’ll be dark before we know it.’

Ian cracked a can of beer and stood between the two tents gazing down the sand to the river. For a moment, Teva felt safe again. But once she had the franks in boiling water and was considering a beer of her own, she looked up and saw a man with a backpack trekking from the gravel path to the opposite side of the clearing. He glanced their way and, when he saw Teva staring at him, nodded. He was far enough away from them not to be imposing, but he seemed both wary and ragged. Teva knew what that meant. Back in the Bay Area, she felt tremendous compassion for the down and out. But up here, out of her element, not so much.

‘Olivia, dinner’s ready, will you come out of the tent now,’ she said. Then, quieter: ‘Ian, we’ve got company.’

***